Trying times

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May 14, 2012 by Jena

Boy oh boy do I know it too!  I’ve always been the “strong” one.  I never cried at sappy movies, my sister told me it was cause I was “dead inside”.  I don’t have a lot of sympathy for most….I expect people to do what they need to do, pick themselves up and carry on, work hard for what they deserve, choose to be happy.  Weakness is not really a word I know or associate with.  So, that’s the way I live.  But lately – that’s been difficult.  I’ve been “beat up” in more ways than one over the last couple weeks.  And for someone who prides herself on having it all together…it’s not been a fun time.

I’m not sure where all this pressure comes from, most likely it’s self induced.  But I feel guilt and anger and sadness and frustration and more.  What I’ve realized through all of it though – is that it doesn’t matter.  Failure is ok.  Failure is necessary.  If I was good at everything I did or tried to do, what sort of growth would I or could I experience?  I just need to move forward with the pieces and parts of this that I can learn from.  To grow, to change.

Times like this you really realize who your true friends and supporters are.  For those people, I am thankful.  Eternally.  Beyond those, I can only lay my fears, frustrations, anger and sadness at God’s feet.  Let go and let God.  Over the past couple weeks, I have done that more often that ever before.  And you know what….so far, so good!  It really can be THAT easy.

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